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I need your best wishes for good luck
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#11
29-10-2019
I believe they accepted me again for the job, there is the online administrative provision, I expect to be contacted and sign the contract again.
This time, send me your best wishes to find an environment and colleagues who are at least calm and "normal"
This time, send me your best wishes to find an environment and colleagues who are at least calm and "normal"
#15
31-10-2019
Meanwhile thanks a lot! :* :* I will have to fight even against my distorted thoughts 
After a while I'm at work I start thinking:
- I'm inadequate for a job, I can't dress professionally, at 30 I still look like a 15-year-old girl, I'm not an adult, I don't deserve a job or a salary
- But why do I need a salary? To help my parents? I will probably not have children, I will remain alone and I will be fine too also in a community or be a carer for the elderly, who makes me do it to be continually pointed out, teased, offended every day because I am not like the other workers? When there are fathers and mothers without pay with young children to keep..and instead I found a job and I can't do it, maybe they would know how to do it better than me and the salary would really be useful (but then since I resigned not we manage to live with only my mother's pension, we are often without food and we have problems paying our bills ... but at least "I left my place to someone with young children" )
Maybe it's also the kind of particular job I found:
- administrative in hospital
- two types of administrative: the assistant (superior category) and coadjutor (me)
- the administrators are not seen well in the hospital because they have not studied as much as the doctors and then they are still "inferior" as a qualification
- the administrative assistant is the standard employee, the coadjutor is instead a "helper", I don't even know well what it is, I think they have hired coadjutors just because they had to, by law and to hire some unemployed and needy people.. there isn't a real need for helpers
- and also for this reason you are badly seen, you are not a laboratory technician, nor a doctor, nor in short a truly useful hospital figure, when there is always a great need for technicians, doctors, nurses, etc..
I don't know Unfortunately only this job I found, it is permanent and I passed the eligibility test (it was just a simple letter on Word), other jobs I did interviews but they didn't hire me, even for cleaning they want the experience..
After a while I'm at work I start thinking:- I'm inadequate for a job, I can't dress professionally, at 30 I still look like a 15-year-old girl, I'm not an adult, I don't deserve a job or a salary
- But why do I need a salary? To help my parents? I will probably not have children, I will remain alone and I will be fine too also in a community or be a carer for the elderly, who makes me do it to be continually pointed out, teased, offended every day because I am not like the other workers? When there are fathers and mothers without pay with young children to keep..and instead I found a job and I can't do it, maybe they would know how to do it better than me and the salary would really be useful (but then since I resigned not we manage to live with only my mother's pension, we are often without food and we have problems paying our bills ... but at least "I left my place to someone with young children"
)Maybe it's also the kind of particular job I found:
- administrative in hospital
- two types of administrative: the assistant (superior category) and coadjutor (me)
- the administrators are not seen well in the hospital because they have not studied as much as the doctors and then they are still "inferior" as a qualification
- the administrative assistant is the standard employee, the coadjutor is instead a "helper", I don't even know well what it is, I think they have hired coadjutors just because they had to, by law and to hire some unemployed and needy people.. there isn't a real need for helpers
- and also for this reason you are badly seen, you are not a laboratory technician, nor a doctor, nor in short a truly useful hospital figure, when there is always a great need for technicians, doctors, nurses, etc..
I don't know
Unfortunately only this job I found, it is permanent and I passed the eligibility test (it was just a simple letter on Word), other jobs I did interviews but they didn't hire me, even for cleaning they want the experience..
#16
01-11-2019
Deb, you can do this job. Don't worry what others think. You are an amazing person who has taught herself how to code websites and speak English! I can't do any of that, well I can speak English but I can't speak Italian! If there were no administrators in a hospital the doctors and nurses would have to do it all themselves and from my experience (I used to be a nurse) they would not have the time or the expertise to do it! Administrators, what ever level are much needed personnel in a hospital.
Go well, my friend, you can do it!
Go well, my friend, you can do it!
#17
01-11-2019
Confidence is key. You have as much right to a job as anyone else. Everytime that dark thought comes into your head say no. Say no to yourself. Tell yourself that you are smart, you are hardworking, you are worthy. It sounds mad, but it works. I have had self esteem issues all my life, and even now I have moments when the dark thoughts come into my head. I tell myself no, no I won't think like that about myself, I will think positive thoughts.
Remember, this is your job, you earned it.
The exam seemed easy? That is because you are smart.
Someone else needs the job more? And then you tell me you are often hungry and cold? You need this job just as much as anyone else.
This isn't a real job? Looks like a real job to me, with salary and work to do.
Not a respected job? As long as you give the work your best shot and try to help others when you can then you will be respected. Nobody dislikes a hard worker who makes their life easier at work.
You are smart, you are hardworking, you are worthy. Make that your mantra.
Remember, this is your job, you earned it.
The exam seemed easy? That is because you are smart.
Someone else needs the job more? And then you tell me you are often hungry and cold? You need this job just as much as anyone else.
This isn't a real job? Looks like a real job to me, with salary and work to do.
Not a respected job? As long as you give the work your best shot and try to help others when you can then you will be respected. Nobody dislikes a hard worker who makes their life easier at work.
You are smart, you are hardworking, you are worthy. Make that your mantra.
#18
01-11-2019
Debs, I've been listening to 30 days of Positiviity podcasts. The one that I have linked to is about believing in yourself. This one really resonated with me. They are only 10 minutes long. I hope it helps https://www.dropbox.com/s/p37fp8ef59bj2m...f.mp3?dl=0
