Almost 19 Years

I have been thinking about the fact that the 19th anniversary of my cousin's death is in May. I miss her after all those years. She was born with heart issues that required surgery when she was not even three days old. She had three more surgeries in the years that followed. She loved me from the moment I was born and there were moments where I drove her crazy. One such moment was when she was riding her bicycle with her friend while I trailed behind on my tricycle. She kept telling me go away but I didn't listen to her. She died two months before her 9th birthday when her heart suddenly stopped while playing with her friend. My uncle and her friend's dad tried CPR on her but it was too late. I was three months away from my 6th birthday when she died. My family tried to stop me from seeing her body at the funeral because they were worried about the effect on me but I dashed towards the coffin and she lay there with the toy sword - we both had our toy swords that we used to play together. I sadly no longer have that sword.

Hi May,

I see you've always had a bit of trouble with authority, huh? You've never listened very well to what people older than you had to say. I think I like you already!
But that isn't why you started this thread.

The first person that I lost, was a friend of mine. Actually, he was the first friend I ever had. I was 18 when he died, three weeks before his 17th birthday, as the result of a moped accident. That'll soon be 45 years ago, and I still miss that guy!
I lost my mom a little over 26 years ago, shortly after her 63rd birthday. In a few weeks I'll be 63 myself, and it still hurts that I'm not able to talk to my mom again.
My losses aren't what's important here, though, except to explain how I understand what you're feeling. So please, accept my condolences. I'm VERY sorry for your loss.

Stay strong, dear. Live long, well and happily, for the memory of your cousin.

Best wishes,
~ BO

Actually I was a good child who rarely acted out and rarely cried over injuries such as a simple fall. If I started crying because of an injury then my family knew that it was bad.